Wonderboy’s tips for a fabulous life.. Fashion and lifestyle do’s and don’ts !

Whassup beyotches ! Posting has been a bit slow lately, cuz I had lots of shiat going on ! but now I’m back on track and postin’ like a maddafakka ! :) ahahahah ! (actually, my automobile broke down… so here I am, sitting in my car, live-blogging while waiting for road-assistance to come and save my ass !)

So… now that we have some more time… here it is… by popular demand…. the Wonderboy’s deca-log for a Wonderlife-style ! (part I)

Fashion do’s and don’ts

I particularly dislike mono-coloured-dressing people ! You have probably seen them once somewhere sometime … they’re these people wearing one-coloured clothes from head to toe… combining the white pants, with the white shirt, with the white shoes and the white belt… this is a big no-no… why the hell you wanna do that for ? Unless you want to look like a big ole boring mono-coloured-object (let’s say “a boat”, or a “bus” or a “used glass container”….) I don’t think that is the purpose… Always mix in some color… be fresh, be colorful ! P.S. You get extra annoyance-points for being dressed in all white, or all denim… that shit is NASTY and soooo nineties ! (see the spray-on-tanning-accident-dressed-in-all-white-looking-like-a-fool below)..

Meterological challenged dressers are the worst too !!! …. Uhuh… you know who I’m talking about… it’s 40°C hot outside and the fool is wearing a sweater or a jacket (most of the time to show of the brand)…These are the same type of people who be wearing flip-flops with jeans… that shit ain’t right ! If it’s hot, you wear shorts (with flip-flops) and if it’s cold, wear some jeans and sneakers… It ain’t that hard is it ??? No need to get everything mixed up, with this global warming and everythang, the weather is already f*cked up as it is ! Repeat offenders in this category are “The American teenager tourist” with their nasty toes in their nasty flip flops under their nasty jeans !, or the “Black Man in the club” wearing waaaay to much clothes and dying of over-heating…. shades in da club are not-done either... it ain't called a "night-club" for nothing dude... there's no sun, no need for shades... plus, when you don't see shyt... you don't know who you're talking to.... and trust me, waking up in the morning and realising the b*tch has no teefs is not a good way to start of your day ! *urgh*

(P.S. i love me some Zac Efron though ! loool)


The classics : if you are STILL wearing Sandals in the ’09, or wearing white tube socks…. Then you know there’s something wrong with yo’ ass… Unless you are blind, and have NOOOOO friends to tell you that shit is ugly, you are not supposed to do this shit ! I just don’t understand how some people still rock the “white socks under suits”-look… (even Albanians should have gotten the memo by now!) I shouldn’t even be telling you this again, now should I ? Additionally, if you are a man and you wear any type of foot-wear-material that shows your toes… than I am not your friend… (unless they are flip-flops in summer, see point 2). I do not, nor will I ever accept Crocs, Sandals, Shoes with holes, or anything similar… And if you are a guy wearing Birkenstocks, I’ll have to drop-kick your silly ass to hell… boy bye ! :-/

Tattoos…. Can turn ugly pretty quick too ! We’re in the 2009 and the nineties are NOT coming back so let’s get a couple of things straight !.... If you recently got (or considering to get)...

1. a barcode,
b. a tribal,
c. Chinese signs tattooed…

... I should punch you in the face !!! That stuff is so un-original and totally 5 minutes ago… You’re not supposed to have any of these unless you are

a. a product,
b. a tribal neo-zealandish aboriginal or
c. a Chinese warrior…

But in any of these cases, it would be highly unprobable that you would be reading this… And don't even get me started on these fools who get Brand-names and logos tattoo'ed... DIDNT ANYONE TELL YOU THAT THAT SHIT IS PERMANENT ?! Get your shit straight goddamned !

picture : www.youknowyoudeadazzwrong.com


And a last type of shit i hate is the "Gay Man in love" (and feeling an uncontrollable need to share…)... Well guess what beyotch.. I don’t give a flying fuck… Don’t you just hate that ? Whenever a gay guy (fiiiiiiinally) finds a boyfriend, they just turn into these Mother Theresa-moralising type of boring bitches…. They start talking in “we-s” in stead of in “I-s”… And whenever you happen to have a one night stand (cuz yes, we’ve got needs too!), they’re quick to let you know how disgusting “you single people” are… Ay caramba ! And to say they were probably the major dick-eating ones before getting ‘of the street’… Another highly annoying habit of the GMiL (gay man in love), is calling you to “ask how you are doing?” and before you even got to answer the question, they just blahblahblahblah hours away about their lovers… fool siddown, I got better things to do than to listen to that bullshit… and guess what… your boyfriend is UGLY...


Follow these five rules... and i'm sure we can be friends ! :)

MORE TO COME SOON !!!

In the mean time, if you have any other "Fashion trends that really piss you off"... hit the comment button... or hit me up at confessionsofawonderboy@yahoo.com or tweet my ass at www.twitter.com/WBConfessions :)